The phone commercials show how quickly their smartphone technology keeps people connected in a timely manner. They show how they beat their competitors with the "that's so 12 seconds ago."  It's somewhat comical and somewhat real in the manner that technology keeps us so connected that we lose patience if we do have to wait for something for more than a minute. Making things happens quickly is great for our convenience and can help us in business but is it helping us as people? Let's face it, not everything can or SHOULD be instant.

We want immediate responses and gratification. The bottom line is that most things worth having, take time to cultivate. Relationships do not happen in a minute. Posting a picture or an opinion to facebook and seeing that 30 "friends" like it, doesn't mean you have 30 people in your life that you can count on or with whom you want to share your biggest fears or deepest joys.  Real relationships take time and history. You share tears when a parent dies or a spouse or boyfriend leaves. You listen to one another vent about all of life's vent-able moments like the people who take 20 items in the 15 items or less aisle or the people who  park in the fire lane at the shopping center or how you spilled coffee on a brand new skirt you wore only once or how you're afraid you may not be able to pay all of your bills next month. These are the people who reassure you when you have nothing in your confidence or happiness tank. These are the people you lend a shoulder to, a hand, a hug, countless words of caring. And these are the people you bond with over laughs that have your sides hurting and your pants dotted with pee.

Things of value take time.

As an entrepreneur/business owner, I'm learning to have patience. It takes time to grow business relationships and to get my message out and have others hear it and hear it again before they retain it and even longer before they call me to ask for my services. I'm inspired by my favorite artist, Vincent Van Gogh. He was somewhat of a tortured soul. He often lacked confidence and a feeling of certainty about his purpose in life and about his incredible talent. If it was not for his brother, Theo, he would not have been able to go on. Theo supported him emotionally and financially.  

Van Gogh sold one painting in his lifetime. And he ended his life at the age of 37 with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest.  He didn't have the strength to continue. But his works are now enjoyed worldwide. He is known as one of the most prolific and amazing painters of all time. For my own experience, I have been so moved by many of his paintings. I've decorated the top of my coffee table with his works and when I visited France for the first time in 2002, I visited his grave in Auvers sur Oise. And it was on that train ride to his grave where I met a French woman with whom I have fostered a dear friendship. I'd like to believe that Van Gogh brought us together.

I think of Van Gogh and I'm reminded that we may not see, hear or feel instantly the impact our gifts have on others. We may not get recognition or admiration right away, or ever, but we must remember that we do make an impact on people's lives and each day we have many opportunities to do so. I have no doubt that each of us does affect the lives of others in great, lasting ways all the time!

"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed."  Van Gogh

http://www.vangoghgallery.com/painting/

Listen for the sounds of rustling through the field.

Can you hear?

The ear of a man who vanished in the blood of a wheat field

Under the cobalt blue swirls of night

Lit just well enough …to see the trigger

Hole expansive.

Loss of crimson, dripping

Warm. Then hot. Then cold. Clammy.

Pressure falling. Stress vacant.

Fears irrelevant.

Dizzy. Falling. You’ve got my attention.

Simply stated, humor relates to what we find funny. A joke or TV sitcom can be humorous
and that typically leads to laughter, or at least the originator of the joke or script hopes that it does. From my point of view as a stand-up comedian and author, I appreciate and crave laughter from my audience. It tells me, to quote Sally Field’s Oscar acceptance speech, “You like me, you really like me.” I’m a performer and I admit that I need praise and acceptance - like air to breathe. But let’s get back to humor. Humor helps us put life into perspective and to understand what is important and what simply is not worth getting upset over.

Humor has amazing power. If used incorrectly, like telling an off-color joke or a racist or
sexist joke, it can be dangerous and even hurtful. But, when used the “right” way, humor
has the power to lift us out of depression, a bad mood or situation, a slump and into a
healthier, happier state of being - and a more productive one.

I’m predominantly German and Irish. And one of the things I treasure most from my
collection of memories of my maternal grandmother, Esther Carilla Stevens Dolan, is her
sense of humor. I don’t believe she intended to be funny, but as is typical with Irish humor, she was dry and wickedly funny. Some of the words that left her tongue were priceless. They were funny and often delivered a message. One of my favorite things she said was “If the dog didn’t stop to (I’ll use the G-rated word) poop, he would have caught the rabbit.” She said this often when we lamented not having, getting or doing something.

I love the message. I interpret it as being one about accountability, focus, our response to
circumstance and going with the flow. We all have the power and responsibility to make
good choices. At times we work harder than others to reach a goal. At times we let
obstacles or distractions delay us or stop us altogether. And sometimes, things halt us that are imminent or natural, like the dog stopping to take care of business. But we always have the power to choose our next move. My mom used to get embarrassed when I would share my grandmother’s catch phrases but I think she’s beginning to understand why I find value and humor in them. I’m glad that my grandmother spoke the words she did. I believe she played a big role in the development of my sense of humor.

When I was a little girl I turned my humor on her when she would come home from her weekly visit to her hairdresser. I would stand behind her chair and pretend that I was about to mess her hair. She got so mad, but I think that she understood that I was using humor to connect with her. This became our little game.

Irish wit and humor are often dark and to some, may seem nasty, but I think Irish humor
was a tool people used to endure, to cope with hardships and to express emotions that
some of us find hard to communicate. I often quip, “I kid because I care.”

Below are just two of the many examples of Irish wit I found online that I enjoy and wanted to share. To me these express the desire to find the good in the darkest of situations. And after all, that is what the power of humor is all about.

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
George Bernard Shaw

"True friends stab you in the front."
Oscar Wilde

When I speak to groups about the power of humor, I often mention Dr. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who spent time in a Concentration Camp. In one of his books "Man's Search for Meaning," he details the time he spent with thread-bare clothing, shoes with worn to nothing and hours spent working in frigid temperatures while people around him died of diseases or were taken to the gas chamber. He was never certain what would become of him but he wrote about how humor aided him in his survival.  "Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation."

That's powerful stuff. On days when I'm running late (usually because of choices that I've made in my day) or traffic is backed up or my laptop is running slowly or I'm just not feeling so happy, I often remind myself of Frankl. If this man could use humor in a Concentration Camp, where the hell do I get off bitching about a leaky coffee cup or drivers who don't signal when they change lanes?

Most of us will probably (hopefully) never know the kind of terror or life-threatening conditions that Frankl faced but we do have our own stressors that do halt us in our tracks and put strain on our relationships and even our health. And every moment we have the opportunity to choose humor to cope and make it through. You don't have to be a funny person to tap into the value of humor. Go to the sources that you enjoy like email jokes, funny youtube clips, sitcoms, live comedy shows, comics in the newspaper, phone a funny friend or just stop and think about your life as a sitcom or cartoon. Imagine if you were a cartoon character or even a superhero who could fix your problems and everyone else's. Who doesn't want to wear a cape after all? And just imagine the money you'd save on gas if you could actually fly? Find the absurdity and ridiculousness in life's everyday situations. Just turn on CNN and FOX News and you'll find lots of absurdity. Then, it's simple. Just LAUGH!  Because you can and because you CHOOSE to Laugh! Don't worry about what people might think about you laughing. As long as you're not doing it at a funeral or in a setting where you are showing disrespect, who cares?  Take a moment to think about the absurdity of that by the way. It's a much more socially acceptable response for people to flip out, curse and scream or be rude in response to a stressful situation. REALLY? How did we get to a place in life where that's healthier and better than just laughing until we feel better?  Let's face it, there are only so many curse words you can use. Then what?

Go ahead, Laugh your ass off! 

I love art. I love supporting First Friday in Scranton and talented artist friends. I didn't use to consider myself an artist because I cannot paint or draw but then I realized that I was being way too narrow in my view of what art is. I'm sure that people's ideas and opinions on what is art or who is an artist varies. I think a simple definition of art is anything that is put forth as a form of individual expression. I would add that art also has the amazing and special ability to captivate people's attention, to engage their minds, hearts and souls. Art is the focus of conversation, controversy, arguments, battles and often the centerpiece of love and pain.

I now think of myself as an artist. I write. I write comedy. I perform comedy. I express my creativity in very colorful, fun ways. I have vision. I connect dots to bring things to life. I balance business and creativity and that, I am quickly learning, is an art in and of itself!

As a recipient of one of the grants awarded by Lackawanna County this year, I will write a children's story called "Wartz and All." I will reunite with Clarks Summit artist Mindy Mendicino, who illustrated my first book "He's Not Prince Charming When..." to share my vision with her and direct her in illustrating the characters for Wartz and All - the story of animals living near a swamp  - a setting inspired by a real swamp along a Lackawanna trail in Archbald. Together, Mindy and I will create a book that is intended to spread the message of acceptance - accepting one's own "warts" or flaws and accepting others' so we can get along, respect one another and form valuable relationships. Once the book is finished I will give copies to each of the County's 10 locations and I will do two public readings. The first reading is planned for National Trails Day on June 2 on the trail in Archbald and the second is scheduled to take place in November - a time recognized for Anti-bullying events - at the Nancy K Holmes Library in the Green Ridge section of Scranton. 

The book will be aimed at children ages 5 - 8 and will allow them to put their own mark on it by coloring the characters and engaging in some other fun activities included. I hope that children and adults enjoy the story and remember the message that we all have warts but we can still love each other "Warts and All."

“One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.”
Oscar Wilde

“In art the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can inspire”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”
Thomas Merton

Lackawanna Trail High School Students Getting Fit With Laughter Every year in January we tend to turn our focus to changing our habits so we can live healthier lives. Lackawanna Trail High School teacher Kathleen Snyder organizes Get Fit Month at the high school in January because she wants students to learn about all kinds of healthy practices. "I invite fitness professionals from many different backgrounds to enthuse my students with lifelong fitness." Because Snyder understands that there are different interests and levels of fitness, she wants the students to experience a variety of wellness practices, including laughter yoga. Snyder said she felt laughter yoga would be an amazing addition to Get Fit Month so she invited Jeannine M Luby, certified laughter yoga leader and owner of Laugh to Live! to present laughter yoga sessions to some of the students on Thursday, January 12 from 8:30 a.m. - 10:40 a.m. Luby says "Laughter yoga is a very easy, fun wellness practice that anyone and everyone can do to gain numerous benefits for mental and physical health. It's also a great practice to create social bonds and a positive atmosphere - something that every environment needs, especially high schools." Laughter yoga is the practice of deep breathing, clapping, laughing and doing various chants of "ho ho ha ha hee hee." The exercises are playful, fun and typically not physically challenging. Laughter yoga was developed in 1995 in India by medical doctor Dr. Madan Kataria who believes that everyone should take time to laugh as a wellness practice to feel good and experience many healthy benefits. Some of the healthy benefits of laughter include: burning calories - about 50 calories are burned after 15 minutes of hearty laughter pain management healthier blood flow heart health boost to immune system regulation of blood sugar to help diabetics lift of depression improved breathing and oxygen boost throughout the body for healthier blood flow and brain function In addition to promoting laughter through laughter yoga, Luby also uses humor as an author and comedian. Her business Laugh to Live! is dedicated to promoting healthy laughter to businesses, universities, conferences and other organizations where laughter is needed. Laugh to Live! LLC has been in business since 2006. For more information, visit LaughToLive.net or call 570-650-7518.                                                                    #####

I heard Kelly Ripa talking on her show this morning about the news story that captivated her attention this morning. It was a story about a divorce case in Hong Kong in which the woman, after eight years of marriage, was to receive $154 million from her ex-husband. The judge also apparently ordered that the husband pay 26 million of that upfront in the court.

Well Kelly was mesmerized by this case. She kept repeating the dollar amount: $154 million, the woman's age: 38 and the number of years the woman was married: 8. Kelly joked that the time was half as long as she has been married. And went on to day that the woman received it because she was accustomed to living the lifestyle of a billionaire and wanted to maintain that lifestyle. As I write this now and think about Kelly's captivation by this story and the amount of money, I wonder if Kelly was being ironic when she said that everyone should be accustomed to that lifestyle - maybe. But I'm not sure it came off that way. To me, she seemed like she was a bit envious of the riches or like a child who only had the Barbie Range Rover while the neighborhood girl across the street had the Barbie Range Rover Elite.

I kind of have the feeling that Kelly and her husband Mark are pulling in millions themselves. It may not be $154 but I think they're doing fine. And don't get me wrong. I know that she's worked for her money and deserves it. After all, at one point I think she simultaneously appeared in three TV shows and she is now featured in a dozen commercials and produces reality shows as well. I don't get the sense that she rests on her laurels. However, at a time when taxes are going up, the unemployment rate is 9% and the country's outlook is far from rosy, I just don't know that the "average" person can appreciate Kelly salivating over a $154 million deal. Others are waiting to hear about job interviews for $24k annually. It's going to take a lot to get to $154 million at THAT rate.  Just imagine that Kelly!

The blog points out the value of visualization for success in all areas of life, not just sports or active goals. I agree. Visualization can be used to achieve the completion of any goal - big or small. This excerpt below from the blog tells a story of just how powerful visualization can be. The last paragraph caught my attention because the idea about why visualization works so well is similar to why laughter yoga works. In a laughter yoga session we often start off with simulated or pretend laughter until it leads to real laughter. The theory by laughter yoga originator Dr. Madan Kataria of India, is that our body does not know the difference between "pretend" laughter and laughter that comes out naturally because of a joke/humor, etc. so the benefits are gained either way.

Excerpt from "Running with Eric" Blog:
"During the Vietnam War, there was a Colonel who was captured and incarcerated in a POW camp for seven years - five and a half of which were spent in solitary confinement. Prior to the war, this Colonel was a golfer with a handicap of four.  To keep himself from going crazy in prison, every day he would visualize playing a round of golf. He would play each shot, and each hole in his mind, and every day he'd play a different golf course.  When he was finally released and returned to the USA, shortly afterward he was invited to play in a celebrity Pro-Am tournament, and despite being underweight and suffering from malnutrition from his ordeal, he hit a round of 76 ... right on his handicap, despite not having held a golf club for over seven years!

I spend a lot of time posting flyers for a variety of events I organize. Most of the events are charitable so they do fit the guidelines set forth by the owners of many community bulletin boards such as the one at Panera and the ones at local libraries. No matter where I post my flyers/posters, I am always mindful of whatever has already been posted. I never put my flyer on top of someone else's - even when there is no room left on the board. Who would I think I am to just cover up the information about another event that is just as worthy as what I'm promoting? 

When the flyers are spaced out and there are small spaces open, I will rearrange flyers on the board to make room for my flyer but again, I will not cover up or remove some other poster.  I will remove posters of events that have already happened because there is no longer a need for that flyer to be up.

 I've been out there, in the community bulletin board world, recently to post flyers for an event Ive organized called "Women Empowered" taking place on November 13.  I've had a bit of bad "luck" with my flyers.

•  Starbucks removed my flyer after about 5 days. (As of this date I'm still not sure why. I do plan on asking for clarification on the use of their "community" board so that I know for future postings.) 
  
• My flyer was removed from the Abington Library's bulletin board.  I did not follow the requirement  (which I honestly did not see or read) about speaking with library staff first and having them "sign" and okay the flyer. So I had my flyer signed and went back out to the board to post it. I did move a flyer from the space reserved for charitable events about a book signing (that had not followed the rules but made it under the radar) and put it on the sign board where other event postings like items for sale and business cards are allowed. 
  
• Then it was off to Everything Natural to post a flyer about my upcoming laughter yoga sessions where I found my Women Empowered flyer moved from the center of the bulletin board and now partially covered by a larger poster promoting the Scranton Preparatory Players. I did remedy the situation by moving flyers around to be sure that all posters were visible. I made sure that none were covered up.

This may seem minor or silly but to me it isn't. It's about common courtesy and community. And respect. We all have something we care about and are helping to share and promote in the community. Let's help one another enrich the community. It's not a competition.

Thank you and happy event promoting!!

I believe it takes time to hone our skills and talents and I believe that in time we learn more and more about value - the things we value and why we value them. I don't believe that our purpose in life is revealed to us all at once. If that was the case, what would we have left to discover?

When I was a little girl I used to like acting goofy at home but I never attempted anything like that in the presence of strangers or certainly not in front of the nuns at Holy Rosary School in North Scranton or Bishop Hannan High School in downtown Scranton. To me, the Catholic school uniform was more than the plaid jumper or skirt, monogrammed sweater and knee socks. Part of the uniform I donned was respect, reverence, meekness, a desire to earn good grades and to follow the rules. I took that seriously and wouldn't have thought of adding laughter or play in a public way.

Even though I didn't share it publicly until about 1995, the important thing is that I did finally share my sense of humor and my desire to help people to laugh by performing improv comedy and then stand-up comedy in about 2003. In 2006 I became a certified laughter leader and started my business Laugh to Live. In 2010 I furthered my training and became a certified laughter yoga leader by the American School of Laughter Yoga. 

While laughter yoga - the idea of laughing for the wellness values, without the trigger of humor/jokes-  is still a relatively new concept in America, it is being embraced across the country and around the world because we can all use more laughter and we don't need to hear a joke to do it.

As a comedian and a laughter yoga leader, I get to promote laughter in two wonderful ways. I get to lead people in laughter for the value of laughing and I get to be creative by writing jokes and sharing that humor on stage. Many times people laugh - which feels great for me and for the audience.

This past Wednesday I really enjoyed doing both - leading laughter yoga and then performing stand-up - for two different audiences. One of the best parts of the evening was the realization that after leading laughter yoga exercises for about 25 minutes, I went on to have my most relaxed stand-up performance. I believe that was no coincidence.

In an article published by the MayoClinic, it said that laughter

• Activates and relieves your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response and increases your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
• Soothes tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

I felt great after laughing so much myself!

Don't be afraid to try something different or silly.  You could post jokes on a bulletin board, have a "5-minute funny break" each day to let co-workers share jokes or funny stories. I think workplaces shy away from humor because they're afraid that it can be offensive but as along as you stick with some guidelines about only sharing non-offensive jokes (and define what that means for your office if you think it's necessary) it's worth a try.

If you want to boost employee morale or take the edge off some really stressful work days, give out cheap trinkets from the Dollar Store like a little bottle of bubbles that people can blow to blow off their steam in a silly but fun way. Sometimes it's the little things that can often make the biggest impact!

Jeannine M Luby, Certified Laughter Yoga Leader, owner Laugh to Live!
laughtolive.net

Today started off great. I got up at 6:20 AM after sleeping past 8 AM the past two days. I went for a nice walk with my mother. I came home and enjoyed coffee on my front porch while doing some emails on my laptop. Then it hit me. My finances are not great. I need to start making more money. And then what hit me even harder was the realization that I don't have a clear plan to make that money, on a regular, consistent basis - the best way money should be made. I have tons of ideas and many are good ones that can totally be achieved. But I am not one for writing down a plan.

Today I guess I could say I've "planned" to do some marketing and networking in the Lehigh Valley Area and I know that at this point I must turn this mood and energy around. Networking about a business that's all about positive, uplifting laughter cannot be done through a grimacing or depressed looking face and dejected, empty pair of eyes. Sooo, I will work on "choosing" a better mood within the next 30 minutes and probably pick up a coffee for another injection of caffeine.

Part of me is embarrassed to share this but another part of me knows that to feel less than, disappointed, worried, angry, etc. is to be human. And anyone reading this is most likely human - unless alien life form has arrived, in which case I ask Ms. Higher Life Form that you refrain from judging me, a mere human with faults and vulnerabilities.

OK, a smile, that's a good start!

Now, if someone were to ask how I trained for this, all I can say is that I ran a few times a week. I ran farther and longer on a couple occasions than I would have if I wasn't running the half marathon but that's about it. I didn't follow a plan or schedule. Part of me is worried now, four days before the race, that I didn't follow a plan. But I find my preparation for this race to be a lot like how I do most things in life. I have a goal/a desire/a passion. I get fired up and say "I want to do that. That would be cool. That's exciting. I'm going to do that."  And I do a little research or investigating and I do what I do and then I usually complete my goal. I won't say that I'm 100% but I'd say that my percentages are pretty high.

So as I'm wondering today if I "should" have trained differently or followed a plan, I do know that I do not own a Back-to-the-Future style DeLorean to go back a few months and start over. I do know that I registered for the race on Sunday and I am doing it. I do know that others do half marathons all the time. I do know that I have been running all summer and I feel healthy and fit. I do know that I want to face this challenge. I do know that I want to achieve this goal, in part so I can say that I have. And I do know that people every day face much greater challenges, many that they did not even choose, like those who died on 9-11. I do not want to cheapen their memorial by saying something cheesy but I will say that those people who died will come into my mind on Sunday and if I have lost my own inner drive and desire to finish the race, I'll think that I am still here and that I am grateful and I am blessed to have the ability to run. I know that will be great fuel for me mentally, emotionally and physically.

But.... the other reason that I am so bothered by the money that reality stars are making is because our economy is in the toilet and yet these people are making oodles and oodles of money so I ask, where is this money coming from? And more importantly, why isn't it going to areas where it's needed?  And thirdly, why aren't more people up in arms?

I've heard many conversations over the past few years that America is squeezing out the middle class. It's going to be the rich and the poor basically. I do believe that's true and I'm starting to think that the reality folks will be at the top of the heap calling the shots. And now that Oprah no longer has her show on a major network, who the hell is going to give shit away to the little people of this country? It seems that you have to have a TV show to get stuff so that you can pimp yourself out to designer clothing, purse and shoe labels.

Here's the latest spark that lit my fuse today:
Deals that Kris Jenner made for her daughter, Kim:

Exclusive pictures. Rights for photos from the wedding apparently sold for $1.5 million to People. 

-- Television ads. E! is expected to take in close to $13 million in ad revenue for the wedding special, some of which is sure to find its way into the Kardashian pocketbook.

-- Free stuff. All sorts of companies are willing to provide services for the wedding simply to get their brand some press. Designer Lehr & Black made Kim's invitations, costing them at least $10,000. Kim received $50,000 from Tao to host her bachelorette party there. Hansen's Cakes is gifting them their wedding cake (their cakes typically sell for about $6,000). And, of course, there's the dress: Vera Wang is creating a $20,000+ gown for Kim.

I know there is a counter argument to this. I know that Kim and her clan must spend some money somewhere (not in places like K-mart, Target, McDonald's Subway, etc. but the most expensive eateries and shops across the land) and that there must be some trickle down from the money made by E or People or the expensive brands who get some business because Kim's ass was wearing or sitting on their stuff. I'm just wondering how far down that trickle goes. I'm thinking it goes from the billionaires to the millionaires and maybe as "low" as the almost millionaires. Not sure where that leaves the rest of us.  I guess we'd better hope that Roseanne's new show "Nuts" is a hit so that the middle on down feels a trickle of some sort.   Oh, who am I kidding, Roseanne only played a working class American on her sitcom, she was probably at the Kardashian wedding too.