Hard lesson for ego but happy to learn!

Yesterday I attended a stand-up comedy workshop taught by the incredible Judy Carter.
It was well worth my time, getting up at 4 AM to take a 4:45 bus to NYC, my monetary investment and everything else (my added anxiety, etc). I have Judy's famous book "Comedy Bible" and like most books I own - especially ones that require some "homework" - I started it but did not finish it.  It was not the book at all, that was due to my laziness. I did the same thing with Julia Cameron's "The Artist Way." Anyway...  attending the workshop was great because I was learning stand-up techniques from Judy and had to apply them there in class. There was no opportunity to close it and turn on a TV instead. There was no room for laziness here. I was able to focus, listen and learn.

 I also paid to have a 30-minute one-on-one consultation with Judy after the class. Between her notes in class and her notes afterward in our consultation, my ego was a bit bruised because I feel that I've been doing my stand-up without the proper set-ups/premises and have been making other mistakes.  If I let my ego dwell then I'd spend time licking my wounds and being childish, saying things like. "But people laugh at my jokes. I'm funny so if she is telling me I'm doing it wrong then what should I do? Should I just give up? I must suck. Or maybe I'll just ignore her because if I listen to her it's going to require some change and work on my part."   I refuse to give my ego the privilege of wallowing, feeling mad, bitter or sorry for me. Instead, I'm excited and hopeful about applying the techniques I've learned so that I can get MORE laughs and get better at the craft. I'm also enthused by Judy's words about the good foundation I've got to really move into the speaking business - something that she has taken by storm.

Yesterday was a great day and reminder that when we are open to learning & changing we don't have to feel hurt or bad about what we may not have done "right" in the past, we can be thankful that we've made the wise choice to learn so that we can grow for tomorrow. A good lesson for me that I hope I remember. It took just a few minutes of me feeling upset that I've not been doing stand-up "right" to realize "Hello? You made the choice to attend Judy's workshop because you wanted to learn the techniques to become better and more successful. You now have those techniques and some new material that Judy Carter herself help you to write. Aren't you in an amazing place. You could have made the choice to continue doing material as you've been doing without ever stopping to ask for directions. You might have been moving ahead but not really getting anywhere."


Pet Owners: Please Show Care by Being There for Your Dog

Throughout most of my childhood, we owned a dog. We weren't the kind of pet owners who had sweaters and special pillows for the dogs but we loved our pets. I believe things are a bit different now than they were in the 70s, 80s and maybe even 90s. Nowadays some people treat their pets better than they do the people in their lives. I get it. Pets can't argue back. Pets can't leave you. Pets can't beat you. Pets can't tell you they hate you or not return your "I love you's." Pets typically don't disappoint. They give unconditional love - especially for people who have been really burned and don't want to allow themselves to trust and get hurt by people again.  I get it. It makes sense to me. And there are other people who might simply say "No, I just hate people. People are stupid. People are assholes. Etc."  Okay, whatever it is, pets are treated like kings and queens now. In fact, the pet product industry is right up there with products for children. If people aren't spending money on their kids, they're spending it on pets.

So this brings me to a huge pet peeve of mine. I love dogs. As I wrote, I had three dogs in my lifetime. The first, Spotty, was a mutt that was pretty old by the time I got to know him. He was what my parents called an "outdoor" dog. I guess when my brother was born he was jealous and may have gone after my brother. My parents made the decision then to put him outside. The second dog we had was Candi. She was a white, miniature poodle who stayed indoors. She was playful and cute. She was out one day in our fenced-in yard and managed to find a way to escape. Unfortunately, as does happen when dogs are running loose, she was hit by a car. She made it back home but she died. The last dog I knew was Tasha - the Siberian husky my brother bought when I was 16 or 17 years old. The dog that was supposed to be my brother's quickly become my dad's dog. She was a gorgeous dog with beautiful blue eyes. She loved being outdoors in the cold and snow and she was a wanderer, as I read that Siberian Husky's tend to be. She would try to run away and often succeeded. She wasn't much for a lot of affection but she did like some attention. She liked having her thick, beautiful coat of hair brushed. She lived a long life until almost 16. Sadly, she was sick toward the end of her life and did suffer a little before she died. That was tough for all of us, especially my father, to watch.

I do not own a dog now but I do pet sit for friends and really do enjoy petting and walking dogs. What I don't like is running from dogs who are showing their teeth. And why would I be running from a dog in the first place? Well, many pet owners seem to think it's okay to let their dogs run loose in their non-fenced-in, non-gated yards and/or porches or let their dogs run un-leashed in parks. (Let me insert here that I know that accidents happen. Just as my previous dogs got loose on occasion, pets do run away or escape my mistake. Please understand reader that what I'm talking about are clear choices, decisions people make to let their dogs run free; I have two on the street where I live that just roam).  I find this irritating, negligent, lazy and dangerous.

 I get it if you're one of those people who really don't care about other people. If that's the case then you're not going to care about the impact you have on me when I go for a run and your dog leaps off its porch barking and showing its teeth, chasing me down the street. I get that you may not care if your dog bites me, scares me, trips me up, etc.   But please think about this .... when your loose, un-supervised dog leaves your premises and chases me, he/she is in danger. I may, as I did today when a dog chased me, run faster and try to get away from your dog by running in the street. It's possible that your dog could get hit by a car. I am running and concerned about my own safety. I'm afraid to tell you that I am not the dog whisperer so I will not be turning to face your dog and get it to stop barking and showing its teeth to me or to have it calm down.   In the future I plan to carry my mace that I purchased last year but never bothered to take out of its plastic case. I do not want to harm your dog or anyone's dog but if a dog is close to biting me or does bite me, I will spray said dog so that I can get away. You see, I value my life, safety and body and don't deserve to be bitten, harmed or put in harm's way because you made the choice to not put a fence around your yard (invisible or otherwise), or tie your dog on a leash, or put a gate up to enclose your porch. And when you made the choice to let your dog out loose and not come outside to watch him/her, you made the neglectful choice to not care about what happens to him/her during that time.

I just returned home from a lovely 70-minute run that I thoroughly enjoyed - except for the 3 - 5 minutes or so in which my heart was racing as I ran for about 30 - 40 feet with a dog right at my heals barking and showing his teeth. Granted, this dog was small in size but I don't mind telling you, I don't want to swim in a pool with a shark OR a piranha - they both have sharp teeth that can draw blood. 

Part of me thinks that I brought this on myself. I do believe in "The Secret" and that what you send out in the universe  you get back. And ever since I read the story a couple days ago about a pit bull in Scranton (that was loose on its neglectful owner's porch) biting an elderly woman out for a walk in a neighborhood where I some times run, I began worrying and thinking about what if this happens to me. Perhaps I put the thought out there and it was returned.

I feel badly for the pit bull because of the owner's negligence. If the owner kept the dog inside then perhaps it wouldn't have violently attacked a woman and a police officer and been shot. I feel more sorry however for the poor elderly woman who only wanted some fresh air and exercise but instead had to endure pain and injuries because of the decisions made by some imbecile. I know that name calling is never the answer but it makes me very angry because pet owners are the ones walking on two legs with the brain (supposedly) to make the decisions, to be responsible, to be accountable.

So I say thank you to the many pet owners I passed today who had their dogs on leashes. They are truly caring and loving pet owners. And their actions affected me and other pedestrians in their neighborhood in a positive way because they shared space with us in a respectful manner, so I really thank them for that! 

I don't like to sound like I'm ranting or on a high horse when I write things like this but I am really concerned as I see more and more dogs running loose. I'm concerned for my safety and I hope that pet owners will be concerned enough about their dogs to be responsible. If I'm preaching to the choir here then tell a friend who may not be as careful with their pet. You might help save their pet's life.

He's Not Prince Charming When... Seuss Style

In honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday
He's Not Prince Charming When...
He gets to your place and he's wearing a toup.
He takes you to dinner and he pays with a coup.
He asks to come in at the end of the night.
He says he has a special talent if you know how to play your cards right.
Despite the voice within you that says, "oh hell no!" you invite him inside and say "Okay, I'm good to go."
When after all the fuss and bravado that he did speak. You both lay there waiting for some intervention cause his lovemaking's weak.
No red pill or blue pill would a difference make. His little mister just wouldn't stay awake. Try as he did, it just wouldn't work. You didn't know what to tell him, didn't want to seem like a jerk.
Then from out of nowhere your cat snatched up his toup. He was awfully embarrassed, he had to regroup.
So you said, "Hey this has been fun but maybe we should just call it a night." Then he chased after Trixie, pant legs flying and fled out of sight.


NotPrinceCharming.com

Nature and exercise inspiring creativity!

It's been about a month or so since I received the check for my grant from the Lackawanna County Arts and Culture Department to write the children's book "Wartz and All." I've met with the illustrator about three times so she can get started on the illustrations. Because I tend to procrastinate, I don't have the whole story written or thought out yet. I guess I'm sort of waiting for divine intervention, aka, a creative bolt to hit my head. I have many general  ideas and some specifics but I don't have the whole thing together yet. We do have time but I would feel more comfortable if I could visualize the whole story and have all the details and specifics in my sight so I could share the whole thing with Mindy, the illustrator.

I'm happy to say that I did get a creative bolt today when I went for a run along the trail in Archbald that's the setting for this children's story. There's a little pond or marshy, swamp-like body of water at the end of the trail in this section of Archbald that helped to inspire the story in the first place. I envisioned my main character, a frog named Wartz, living here and having adventures with the other animals. Today as I was running along the trail from Archbald to Peckville and back I got some great ideas. I could see where the story was headed. I didn't realize that I didn't have an event yet until one came to me. Then I thought, "That's perfect. That's what the story needs."  And I could already picture the illustrations that went along with the event because it was very active. And of course, the event gives me the perfect opportunity to have the characters work together to resolve things and learn their lesson.

I've always believed in the power of exercise - well for the past 15 or so years I really have - and in my case, running is my exercise of choice. When I run, I always come back with new ideas. I think of new ideas for my stand-up routine. I often think of new ways to market my business. And some times, I work through issues in my head that might be bothering me. I credit the endorphins that kick in during my run for the creative bursts that I experience. Today's burst of ideas about where to take my children's story "Wartz and All" was so welcome and arrived just in time. Yesterday I met with the illustrator and did provide her with some direction on drawings but I just told her how I hoped that I would be able to see the whole picture soon. Well, one day later and I've got what I think are some great ideas to propel this project forward!

It's great when exercise provides even more than health benefits - it provides inspiration!


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Things of real value take time to grow. Van Gogh taught me.

Everything today is instant, but that's not always valuable.

The phone commercials show how quickly their smartphone technology keeps people connected in a timely manner. They show how they beat their competitors with the "that's so 12 seconds ago."  It's somewhat comical and somewhat real in the manner that technology keeps us so connected that we lose patience if we do have to wait for something for more than a minute. Making things happens quickly is great for our convenience and can help us in business but is it helping us as people? Let's face it, not everything can or SHOULD be instant.

We want immediate responses and gratification. The bottom line is that most things worth having, take time to cultivate. Relationships do not happen in a minute. Posting a picture or an opinion to facebook and seeing that 30 "friends" like it, doesn't mean you have 30 people in your life that you can count on or with whom you want to share your biggest fears or deepest joys.  Real relationships take time and history. You share tears when a parent dies or a spouse or boyfriend leaves. You listen to one another vent about all of life's vent-able moments like the people who take 20 items in the 15 items or less aisle or the people who  park in the fire lane at the shopping center or how you spilled coffee on a brand new skirt you wore only once or how you're afraid you may not be able to pay all of your bills next month. These are the people who reassure you when you have nothing in your confidence or happiness tank. These are the people you lend a shoulder to, a hand, a hug, countless words of caring. And these are the people you bond with over laughs that have your sides hurting and your pants dotted with pee.

Things of value take time.

As an entrepreneur/business owner, I'm learning to have patience. It takes time to grow business relationships and to get my message out and have others hear it and hear it again before they retain it and even longer before they call me to ask for my services. I'm inspired by my favorite artist, Vincent Van Gogh. He was somewhat of a tortured soul. He often lacked confidence and a feeling of certainty about his purpose in life and about his incredible talent. If it was not for his brother, Theo, he would not have been able to go on. Theo supported him emotionally and financially.  

Van Gogh sold one painting in his lifetime. And he ended his life at the age of 37 with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest.  He didn't have the strength to continue. But his works are now enjoyed worldwide. He is known as one of the most prolific and amazing painters of all time. For my own experience, I have been so moved by many of his paintings. I've decorated the top of my coffee table with his works and when I visited France for the first time in 2002, I visited his grave in Auvers sur Oise. And it was on that train ride to his grave where I met a French woman with whom I have fostered a dear friendship. I'd like to believe that Van Gogh brought us together.

I think of Van Gogh and I'm reminded that we may not see, hear or feel instantly the impact our gifts have on others. We may not get recognition or admiration right away, or ever, but we must remember that we do make an impact on people's lives and each day we have many opportunities to do so. I have no doubt that each of us does affect the lives of others in great, lasting ways all the time!

"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed."  Van Gogh

http://www.vangoghgallery.com/painting/



Bringing Laughs to Second Friday Art Walk in Clarks Summit!

Luby1




Comedian/Author Jeannine M Luby Will Be Second Friday Artist at Cloe & Company on Feb. 10

Jeannine is excited to be featured as a guest artist for the Abington's Second Friday Art Walk on February 10 at Cloe and Company on State Street from 5:30 - 8:30 PM. Jeannine is the author of the humor book "He's Not Prince Charming When..." and also a stand-up comedian and certified laughter yoga leader. She will be signing copies of her book, doing some stand-up comedy quips and leading a sampling of laughter exercises.  Whether you're single and you want to hear some of Jeannine's funny dating material or you're part of a couple and want to strengthen your relationship, you'll find laughs that are healthy for everyone!

 Jeannine hopes that many people will stop by Cloe and Company for their own good.   "February is all about matters of the heart. We recognize American Heart Month and Valentine's Day so there's no better time to focus on doing something as super healthy for the heart as laughing!"

In addition to Jeannine's book "He's Not Prince Charming When..." she will have other not prince charming products available for sale that evening, including: funny Valentine greeting cards for your funny and not-so-funny Valentines and "Keep Wine-ing. He Might Start to Look Like Prince Charming" T-shirts.

Cloe and Company offers products that are all American made, many which are made in Pennsylvania and locally here in northeastern Pennsylvania.

NotPrinceCharming.com

Picture is courtesy of Go Lackawanna.


My Irish grandmother and a dog walk into a bar...

Behold: The Power of Humor. You don‛t have to be funny to make it work for you.

Simply stated, humor relates to what we find funny. A joke or TV sitcom can be humorous
and that typically leads to laughter, or at least the originator of the joke or script hopes that it does. From my point of view as a stand-up comedian and author, I appreciate and crave laughter from my audience. It tells me, to quote Sally Field’s Oscar acceptance speech, “You like me, you really like me.” I’m a performer and I admit that I need praise and acceptance - like air to breathe. But let’s get back to humor. Humor helps us put life into perspective and to understand what is important and what simply is not worth getting upset over.

Humor has amazing power. If used incorrectly, like telling an off-color joke or a racist or
sexist joke, it can be dangerous and even hurtful. But, when used the “right” way, humor
has the power to lift us out of depression, a bad mood or situation, a slump and into a
healthier, happier state of being - and a more productive one.

I’m predominantly German and Irish. And one of the things I treasure most from my
collection of memories of my maternal grandmother, Esther Carilla Stevens Dolan, is her
sense of humor. I don’t believe she intended to be funny, but as is typical with Irish humor, she was dry and wickedly funny. Some of the words that left her tongue were priceless. They were funny and often delivered a message. One of my favorite things she said was “If the dog didn’t stop to (I’ll use the G-rated word) poop, he would have caught the rabbit.” She said this often when we lamented not having, getting or doing something.

I love the message. I interpret it as being one about accountability, focus, our response to
circumstance and going with the flow. We all have the power and responsibility to make
good choices. At times we work harder than others to reach a goal. At times we let
obstacles or distractions delay us or stop us altogether. And sometimes, things halt us that are imminent or natural, like the dog stopping to take care of business. But we always have the power to choose our next move. My mom used to get embarrassed when I would share my grandmother’s catch phrases but I think she’s beginning to understand why I find value and humor in them. I’m glad that my grandmother spoke the words she did. I believe she played a big role in the development of my sense of humor.

When I was a little girl I turned my humor on her when she would come home from her weekly visit to her hairdresser. I would stand behind her chair and pretend that I was about to mess her hair. She got so mad, but I think that she understood that I was using humor to connect with her. This became our little game.

Irish wit and humor are often dark and to some, may seem nasty, but I think Irish humor
was a tool people used to endure, to cope with hardships and to express emotions that
some of us find hard to communicate. I often quip, “I kid because I care.”

Below are just two of the many examples of Irish wit I found online that I enjoy and wanted to share. To me these express the desire to find the good in the darkest of situations. And after all, that is what the power of humor is all about.


"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
George Bernard Shaw

 

"True friends stab you in the front."
Oscar Wilde

 

When I speak to groups about the power of humor, I often mention Dr. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who spent time in a Concentration Camp. In one of his books "Man's Search for Meaning," he details the time he spent with thread-bare clothing, shoes with worn to nothing and hours spent working in frigid temperatures while people around him died of diseases or were taken to the gas chamber. He was never certain what would become of him but he wrote about how humor aided him in his survival.  "Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation."


That's powerful stuff. On days when I'm running late (usually because of choices that I've made in my day) or traffic is backed up or my laptop is running slowly or I'm just not feeling so happy, I often remind myself of Frankl. If this man could use humor in a Concentration Camp, where the hell do I get off bitching about a leaky coffee cup or drivers who don't signal when they change lanes?


Most of us will probably (hopefully) never know the kind of terror or life-threatening conditions that Frankl faced but we do have our own stressors that do halt us in our tracks and put strain on our relationships and even our health. And every moment we have the opportunity to choose humor to cope and make it through. You don't have to be a funny person to tap into the value of humor. Go to the sources that you enjoy like email jokes, funny youtube clips, sitcoms, live comedy shows, comics in the newspaper, phone a funny friend or just stop and think about your life as a sitcom or cartoon. Imagine if you were a cartoon character or even a superhero who could fix your problems and everyone else's. Who doesn't want to wear a cape after all? And just imagine the money you'd save on gas if you could actually fly? Find the absurdity and ridiculousness in life's everyday situations. Just turn on CNN and FOX News and you'll find lots of absurdity. Then, it's simple. Just LAUGH!  Because you can and because you CHOOSE to Laugh! Don't worry about what people might think about you laughing. As long as you're not doing it at a funeral or in a setting where you are showing disrespect, who cares?  Take a moment to think about the absurdity of that by the way. It's a much more socially acceptable response for people to flip out, curse and scream or be rude in response to a stressful situation. REALLY? How did we get to a place in life where that's healthier and better than just laughing until we feel better?  Let's face it, there are only so many curse words you can use. Then what?


Go ahead, Laugh your ass off! 



There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.

"I feel there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people."
My favorite artist, vincent van gogh.

I am so pleased to be a recipient of a 2012 Lackawanna County Arts and Culture Grant. Last night I attended the ceremony held at the Scranton Cultural Center and I felt so pleased and proud to be among so many prolific, talented people. 

I love art. I love supporting First Friday in Scranton and talented artist friends. I didn't use to consider myself an artist because I cannot paint or draw but then I realized that I was being way too narrow in my view of what art is. I'm sure that people's ideas and opinions on what is art or who is an artist varies. I think a simple definition of art is anything that is put forth as a form of individual expression. I would add that art also has the amazing and special ability to captivate people's attention, to engage their minds, hearts and souls. Art is the focus of conversation, controversy, arguments, battles and often the centerpiece of love and pain.

I now think of myself as an artist. I write. I write comedy. I perform comedy. I express my creativity in very colorful, fun ways. I have vision. I connect dots to bring things to life. I balance business and creativity and that, I am quickly learning, is an art in and of itself!

As a recipient of one of the grants awarded by Lackawanna County this year, I will write a children's story called "Wartz and All." I will reunite with Clarks Summit artist Mindy Mendicino, who illustrated my first book "He's Not Prince Charming When..." to share my vision with her and direct her in illustrating the characters for Wartz and All - the story of animals living near a swamp  - a setting inspired by a real swamp along a Lackawanna trail in Archbald. Together, Mindy and I will create a book that is intended to spread the message of acceptance - accepting one's own "warts" or flaws and accepting others' so we can get along, respect one another and form valuable relationships. Once the book is finished I will give copies to each of the County's 10 locations and I will do two public readings. The first reading is planned for National Trails Day on June 2 on the trail in Archbald and the second is scheduled to take place in November - a time recognized for Anti-bullying events - at the Nancy K Holmes Library in the Green Ridge section of Scranton. 

The book will be aimed at children ages 5 - 8 and will allow them to put their own mark on it by coloring the characters and engaging in some other fun activities included. I hope that children and adults enjoy the story and remember the message that we all have warts but we can still love each other "Warts and All."

One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.
Oscar Wilde

In art the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can inspire
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.
Thomas Merton