| Listen for the sounds of rustling through the field. Can you hear? The ear of a man who vanished in the blood of a wheat field Under the cobalt blue swirls of night Lit just well enough …to see the trigger Hole expansive. Loss of crimson, dripping Warm. Then hot. Then cold. Clammy. Pressure falling. Stress vacant. Fears irrelevant. Dizzy. Falling. You’ve got my attention. |
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| Behold: The Power of Humor. You don‛t have to be funny to make it work for you.Simply stated, humor relates to what we find funny. A joke or TV sitcom can be humorous and that typically leads to laughter, or at least the originator of the joke or script hopes that it does. From my point of view as a stand-up comedian and author, I appreciate and crave laughter from my audience. It tells me, to quote Sally Field’s Oscar acceptance speech, “You like me, you really like me.” I’m a performer and I admit that I need praise and acceptance - like air to breathe. But let’s get back to humor. Humor helps us put life into perspective and to understand what is important and what simply is not worth getting upset over.Humor has amazing power. If used incorrectly, like telling an off-color joke or a racist or sexist joke, it can be dangerous and even hurtful. But, when used the “right” way, humor has the power to lift us out of depression, a bad mood or situation, a slump and into a healthier, happier state of being - and a more productive one.I’m predominantly German and Irish. And one of the things I treasure most from my collection of memories of my maternal grandmother, Esther Carilla Stevens Dolan, is her sense of humor. I don’t believe she intended to be funny, but as is typical with Irish humor, she was dry and wickedly funny. Some of the words that left her tongue were priceless. They were funny and often delivered a message. One of my favorite things she said was “If the dog didn’t stop to (I’ll use the G-rated word) poop, he would have caught the rabbit.” She said this often when we lamented not having, getting or doing something. I love the message. I interpret it as being one about accountability, focus, our response to circumstance and going with the flow. We all have the power and responsibility to make good choices. At times we work harder than others to reach a goal. At times we let obstacles or distractions delay us or stop us altogether. And sometimes, things halt us that are imminent or natural, like the dog stopping to take care of business. But we always have the power to choose our next move. My mom used to get embarrassed when I would share my grandmother’s catch phrases but I think she’s beginning to understand why I find value and humor in them. I’m glad that my grandmother spoke the words she did. I believe she played a big role in the development of my sense of humor. When I was a little girl I turned my humor on her when she would come home from her weekly visit to her hairdresser. I would stand behind her chair and pretend that I was about to mess her hair. She got so mad, but I think that she understood that I was using humor to connect with her. This became our little game.Irish wit and humor are often dark and to some, may seem nasty, but I think Irish humor was a tool people used to endure, to cope with hardships and to express emotions that some of us find hard to communicate. I often quip, “I kid because I care.” Below are just two of the many examples of Irish wit I found online that I enjoy and wanted to share. To me these express the desire to find the good in the darkest of situations. And after all, that is what the power of humor is all about. "If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
"True friends stab you in the front."
When I speak to groups about the power of humor, I often mention Dr. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who spent time in a Concentration Camp. In one of his books "Man's Search for Meaning," he details the time he spent with thread-bare clothing, shoes with worn to nothing and hours spent working in frigid temperatures while people around him died of diseases or were taken to the gas chamber. He was never certain what would become of him but he wrote about how humor aided him in his survival. "Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation." That's powerful stuff. On days when I'm running late (usually because of choices that I've made in my day) or traffic is backed up or my laptop is running slowly or I'm just not feeling so happy, I often remind myself of Frankl. If this man could use humor in a Concentration Camp, where the hell do I get off bitching about a leaky coffee cup or drivers who don't signal when they change lanes? Most of us will probably (hopefully) never know the kind of terror or life-threatening conditions that Frankl faced but we do have our own stressors that do halt us in our tracks and put strain on our relationships and even our health. And every moment we have the opportunity to choose humor to cope and make it through. You don't have to be a funny person to tap into the value of humor. Go to the sources that you enjoy like email jokes, funny youtube clips, sitcoms, live comedy shows, comics in the newspaper, phone a funny friend or just stop and think about your life as a sitcom or cartoon. Imagine if you were a cartoon character or even a superhero who could fix your problems and everyone else's. Who doesn't want to wear a cape after all? And just imagine the money you'd save on gas if you could actually fly? Find the absurdity and ridiculousness in life's everyday situations. Just turn on CNN and FOX News and you'll find lots of absurdity. Then, it's simple. Just LAUGH! Because you can and because you CHOOSE to Laugh! Don't worry about what people might think about you laughing. As long as you're not doing it at a funeral or in a setting where you are showing disrespect, who cares? Take a moment to think about the absurdity of that by the way. It's a much more socially acceptable response for people to flip out, curse and scream or be rude in response to a stressful situation. REALLY? How did we get to a place in life where that's healthier and better than just laughing until we feel better? Let's face it, there are only so many curse words you can use. Then what? Go ahead, Laugh your ass off! |
"I feel there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." My favorite artist, vincent van gogh. I am so pleased to be a recipient of a 2012 Lackawanna County Arts and Culture Grant. Last night I attended the ceremony held at the Scranton Cultural Center and I felt so pleased and proud to be among so many prolific, talented people. I love art. I love supporting First Friday in Scranton and talented artist friends. I didn't use to consider myself an artist because I cannot paint or draw but then I realized that I was being way too narrow in my view of what art is. I'm sure that people's ideas and opinions on what is art or who is an artist varies. I think a simple definition of art is anything that is put forth as a form of individual expression. I would add that art also has the amazing and special ability to captivate people's attention, to engage their minds, hearts and souls. Art is the focus of conversation, controversy, arguments, battles and often the centerpiece of love and pain. I now think of myself as an artist. I write. I write comedy. I perform comedy. I express my creativity in very colorful, fun ways. I have vision. I connect dots to bring things to life. I balance business and creativity and that, I am quickly learning, is an art in and of itself!As a recipient of one of the grants awarded by Lackawanna County this year, I will write a children's story called "Wartz and All." I will reunite with Clarks Summit artist Mindy Mendicino, who illustrated my first book "He's Not Prince Charming When..." to share my vision with her and direct her in illustrating the characters for Wartz and All - the story of animals living near a swamp - a setting inspired by a real swamp along a Lackawanna trail in Archbald. Together, Mindy and I will create a book that is intended to spread the message of acceptance - accepting one's own "warts" or flaws and accepting others' so we can get along, respect one another and form valuable relationships. Once the book is finished I will give copies to each of the County's 10 locations and I will do two public readings. The first reading is planned for National Trails Day on June 2 on the trail in Archbald and the second is scheduled to take place in November - a time recognized for Anti-bullying events - at the Nancy K Holmes Library in the Green Ridge section of Scranton. The book will be aimed at children ages 5 - 8 and will allow them to put their own mark on it by coloring the characters and engaging in some other fun activities included. I hope that children and adults enjoy the story and remember the message that we all have warts but we can still love each other "Warts and All."“One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art.” Oscar Wilde“In art the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can inspire” Ralph Waldo Emerson“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” Thomas Merton |
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A friend of mine sent this story to me in an email this morning. This is exactly what I talk about when I speak to groups about the value of laughter and humor for the mind, body and spirit. I don't think we can ever hear or read enough of these stories. And yes, I know this is a parable really and probably not specifically about a guy named John, but there are many people like John out there who serve as role models and inspirations on how to live life with zest and joy. We certainly all know enough Debbie Downers and Negative Neds. This story celebrates the Jubilant Johns and Janes out there.This story is about choice. And the great thing is that even if I or you are living life today like a Debbie Downer or Negative Ned, we can choose to change our attitude/mood with our next breath. If it takes a little longer, that's fine too. A Story About the Power of Choice & Humor John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!' He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!' You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?' He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.' Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. 'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested. 'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.' I reflected on what he said. Soon after, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I’d be twins...Wanna see my scars?' I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place. ‘The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.' 'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked. He continued, '...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.' What did you do?' I asked. 'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.' He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude....I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34. After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. |
| Shame on me. I guess I'm guilty of what all of those politicians have been talking about: class warfare. I feel just horrible now. I admit it. I did make a judgement and it was a not-so-kind one.I heard Kelly Ripa talking on her show this morning about the news story that captivated her attention this morning. It was a story about a divorce case in Hong Kong in which the woman, after eight years of marriage, was to receive $154 million from her ex-husband. The judge also apparently ordered that the husband pay 26 million of that upfront in the court. Well Kelly was mesmerized by this case. She kept repeating the dollar amount: $154 million, the woman's age: 38 and the number of years the woman was married: 8. Kelly joked that the time was half as long as she has been married. And went on to day that the woman received it because she was accustomed to living the lifestyle of a billionaire and wanted to maintain that lifestyle. As I write this now and think about Kelly's captivation by this story and the amount of money, I wonder if Kelly was being ironic when she said that everyone should be accustomed to that lifestyle - maybe. But I'm not sure it came off that way. To me, she seemed like she was a bit envious of the riches or like a child who only had the Barbie Range Rover while the neighborhood girl across the street had the Barbie Range Rover Elite. I kind of have the feeling that Kelly and her husband Mark are pulling in millions themselves. It may not be $154 but I think they're doing fine. And don't get me wrong. I know that she's worked for her money and deserves it. After all, at one point I think she simultaneously appeared in three TV shows and she is now featured in a dozen commercials and produces reality shows as well. I don't get the sense that she rests on her laurels. However, at a time when taxes are going up, the unemployment rate is 9% and the country's outlook is far from rosy, I just don't know that the "average" person can appreciate Kelly salivating over a $154 million deal. Others are waiting to hear about job interviews for $24k annually. It's going to take a lot to get to $154 million at THAT rate. Just imagine that Kelly! |
| I read a blog from "Running with Eric" about using visualization to run a better race. I know that when I plan the night before the morning I want to run by setting out running clothes and actually envisioning which route I'm going to run, I am much more likely to get up for a run in the morning. But when I don't have a clear path in mind for the next day's run or if I feel wishy washy about getting up early, I am more likely to sleep in. The blog points out the value of visualization for success in all areas of life, not just sports or active goals. I agree. Visualization can be used to achieve the completion of any goal - big or small. This excerpt below from the blog tells a story of just how powerful visualization can be. The last paragraph caught my attention because the idea about why visualization works so well is similar to why laughter yoga works. In a laughter yoga session we often start off with simulated or pretend laughter until it leads to real laughter. The theory by laughter yoga originator Dr. Madan Kataria of India, is that our body does not know the difference between "pretend" laughter and laughter that comes out naturally because of a joke/humor, etc. so the benefits are gained either way.Excerpt from "Running with Eric" Blog: "During the Vietnam War, there was a Colonel who was captured and incarcerated in a POW camp for seven years - five and a half of which were spent in solitary confinement. Prior to the war, this Colonel was a golfer with a handicap of four. To keep himself from going crazy in prison, every day he would visualize playing a round of golf. He would play each shot, and each hole in his mind, and every day he'd play a different golf course. When he was finally released and returned to the USA, shortly afterward he was invited to play in a celebrity Pro-Am tournament, and despite being underweight and suffering from malnutrition from his ordeal, he hit a round of 76 ... right on his handicap, despite not having held a golf club for over seven years! |
I had wanted to write this last week but then life and laziness got in the way. I also know that I probably sound preachy when I write certain things and I don't intend for things to sound that way. I know it may appear that I come riding along on my high horse. And yes, it can be scary to ride on one because the fall could break my neck. With all of that said, I assure you that my desire with this post is not to just wag my finger but to inform and implore people to stop and think before posting their community event poster or flyer.I spend a lot of time posting flyers for a variety of events I organize. Most of the events are charitable so they do fit the guidelines set forth by the owners of many community bulletin boards such as the one at Panera and the ones at local libraries. No matter where I post my flyers/posters, I am always mindful of whatever has already been posted. I never put my flyer on top of someone else's - even when there is no room left on the board. Who would I think I am to just cover up the information about another event that is just as worthy as what I'm promoting? When the flyers are spaced out and there are small spaces open, I will rearrange flyers on the board to make room for my flyer but again, I will not cover up or remove some other poster. I will remove posters of events that have already happened because there is no longer a need for that flyer to be up. I've been out there, in the community bulletin board world, recently to post flyers for an event Ive organized called "Women Empowered" taking place on November 13. I've had a bit of bad "luck" with my flyers.
So in this long rambling I have basically two suggestions or pleas: First, please stop and think before posting a flyer and be sure you are not covering up the flyer for another event because all events for charity and civic organizations, fund raisers, etc. are important to some group of people and equally valuable. Second, whenever possible, please print smaller flyers that are 8 1/2 x 11 in size (or smaller) because posters that are 11 x 17 or bigger take up a lot of room on a bulletin board in a very active community where there are many wonderful things going on that need to be displayed and promoted! This may seem minor or silly but to me it isn't. It's about common courtesy and community. And respect. We all have something we care about and are helping to share and promote in the community. Let's help one another enrich the community. It's not a competition. Thank you and happy event promoting!! |
| I'm not saying that I'm happy that it's snowing in October, but I do have to say that I feel there is something very comforting about a day like this. I'm making some chocolate frog pops to promote and support my Not Prince Charming brand of products, so it's one of those days that feels very homey, Martha Stewart-ish. I've been working on these chocolates since about 9:30 and thanks to two great friends, I had company for a few hours. We chatted. I vented about my rants of the week: people's lack of courtesy when using community bulletin boards and people's desire to feed their egos by hearing themselves talk. I'm a recovering ego-feeding addict so I know what it's all about. I have to say it's really refreshing to let other people "be right." I don't need the last word after all. There's something very peaceful about what I'll call a quiet victory - which is learning and understanding that I don't need to get involved with other people's "stuff," that I can just accept or surrender as I've heard it said in yoga. I like the way the instructor explained it that day, that surrendering is not a sign of weakness. It means to accept and stop fighting. It's a really positive peaceful feeling. It also ties in to a lesson I learned by watching a TED speaker who explained why Apple is such a successful company and how to attempt that kind of success. He said to do business with people who believe what you believe and who buy "why" you do what you do. It's about shared values. It's in my best interest to share my energy with people want to accept it and give something as well. It's not beneficial for me to hoist my energy on someone who is blocking it or too busy kicking up dust. I want to do business and share life with people who believe what I believe. Anyway, I was able to safely vent to a few friends, parody some nonsense I read this weekend and have a lot of laughs - while getting something done for my business. And the whole time I see these beautiful big snowflakes landing and making big fluffy blankets on the Earth. I can't say that I really want winter season to move in just yet but I can say that I'm happy with the weekend visit. It's a nice first date. I feel the warmth of my kitchen. Smell the candles I'm burning and I feel safe, comfortable and peacefully happy. I'm blessed. I'm reminded every day in numerous ways. My wish for everyone today is that they are warm and safe too - wherever they live on this green Earth. Happy Halloween. And Happy First Snow! |
